Alright. So you've found a woman. She's passively attractive, she's not psychotic all the time, and she lets you do the sex without having to put in a full night of graft. She's 'the one'. It's time. You want to lay your claim to her, and express to the world that she now belongs to you.
There's many ways to make this happen. But whatever your plans, there's a few things you simply cant get away from. So here's my list.
Welcome to; A gentleman's guide to... Proposing.
Rule one; ask the father
Ask the father? No. You tell the father. Sit him down, and assert your dominance all over him. Well, that's what you tell people you did. In reality you stand awkwardly in the corner of a room, and as quickly as you can blurt it out;
"Excuse me mister father-in-law sir, i want to marry your daughter and don't want you to hurt me please sir"
Or at least that's how it went for me.
With this one, it requires a little finesse. A little planning. I planned this conversation before i even thought about proposing. It's an important step, and even if she doesn't care whether you speak to her father or not, he definitely will. It says a lot about you and your character, and it sets the tone for your whole relationship with him going forward.
Don't skip this, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it may seem!
Rule two; be romantic as fuck
Romance? Eww! I hate romance. It gives me a rash.
Romance is relative. Whats romantic for you, might not seem romantic to someone else. And that's ok. Being romantic simply means doing what you both love, acting in a way that makes her swoon, and doing your utmost to make her knees so weak, she collapses right there and then. (Hopefully she doesn't hit her head. that might be difficult to explain)
Romance doesn't have to be all poems and roses. I hate that kind of shit. Romance does have to be personal.
Rule three; don't be cheesy
Be romantic, but don't be cheesy. Definitely don't go over the top. Remember that this is a story that she's going to tell people for the next few months, or even years. And like a fine wine, this story has to age well. you don't want to be at that party in a years time while she's telling a room full of people your story only to pray the ground would swallow you whole.
Maybe run the idea past someone first. Someone who knows you both well. Not her father. He's got enough on his plate just keeping one secret. You don't want the whole thing to unravel simply because he had one to many vodka's and spilled the beans to the town gossip. but definitely get a second pair of eyes on your plan.
Rule four; Make sure its a yes
You don't want to go through all this only to get a no. That's not good. That's the opposite of what you want. you want her to say yes, and then get some late night booty smooshing after a celebrity bottle of high class booze. Presumably you've at least broached the subject before hand. Or you're in a stage of your relationship where it makes sense. Or maybe, because you're about as subtle as a gun, you've just asked her whether shed say yes or no.
"Oi, darling. If i were to propose, would you say yes?" "Yes, i suppose so" "Good. I'm not by the way"
That's pretty much what you want to do. Maybe layer on a bit of subterfuge first.
Rule five; don't be cheep, buy a bloody ring!
Maybe this should have been rule one. Buy a ring. doesn't have to be big. doesn't have to be expensive. It could even be a 'place holder' until you can get something better. just as long as it looks nice. this ring is going to be plastered all over her social media for the next few months. shes going to be showing it off to her friends, her colleges, strangers in the street. you want people to say 'Oh, that's lovely' not 'aww, well isn't that lovely'
there'
s a difference i swear.
Folks are going to judge you based on this ring. You want them looking at you in awe. you want to be the legendary guy who just melted their minds with your class and gentlemanlyness. (that's a word)
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