Working in retail. It can be fantastic. A flexible schedule, a stable pay check (and it can be quite a good pay check too) and you meet a lot of interesting people. It’s great if you want to make a go of being a writer for all the above reasons, but there are a few things that you should take a note of.
So, here’s five pro tips on how to be a Gentleman working in retail
Rule One; the customer is always right
Yep. Even when they’re wrong.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. The customer is always right? That’s not right! That’s an old way of thinking. Well not to the customer. The customer, right or wrong, is a knob head. A dick. A prick. A downright no good dirty snob.
Now not all customers are this way.
Most in fact are perfectly lovely.
But there’s always that one. That one that refuses to back down, even though they make the most outlandish claim! They can’t understand that they could possibly be wrong. And it’s your job to not grab the first piece of stock and beat them over the head. No. it’s your job to pander to this person, calm them down, and try to change their mind.
Rule two; Don’t piss off your manager
It’s the manager’s job to keep you motivated, to lead you in your day to day, and push you to generate the most amount of sales you can. That’s their job. We all understand that. And if you go with the flow, stick to the script, and toe the line they’re your best friend in the world.
Erm… until they’re not.
Retail managers, like all others, have long memories. Very long memories.
When they do you a favour, they will call it in, and you are expected to fall in line. Course, if you don’t… well woe betide you.
That weekend you wanted off? No bud, can’t get cover.
That shift you wanted to swap? Not if you want to work on tills for the next week
Need to move your holiday? Sorry, ceilings full.
Don’t bloody piss them off
Rule three; don’t piss off the operations team.
Chances are you’re going to need the help from someone in operations at some point. Chances are they’re a grumpy bastard who doesn’t like anyone and doesn’t hide that fact. They like a select few of ‘chosen ones’ and even those are merely tolerated, not liked. Ops have a long list of daily tasks needed to keep the business running, from organising stock to testing fire alarms, and if you need a favour from a man in a hi-vis vest, you had better not seem demanding. The only thing longer than the list of jobs ops has, is the list of excuses they have for getting out of work. And the second someone comes to them with something they don’t want to do, the second this list comes into play.
Don’t piss em off, and the list stays tucked away.
Rule Four; The staff are great… until they know it.
Now I’m speaking as a manager. Many employees are hard working. You should be when you’re only on a three-month contract and there’s no guarantee you’ll be kept on. But there’s always that one guy who knows he’s good. He knows that he’s relied on, that if he says no to something it makes a bugger tonne of work for his boss to get someone else to do it.
This guy, is an arsehole.
This guy is someone that has started to think for themselves. They’ve become self-aware. See, the thing is, this guy is someone who can’t see anything outside his own vision.
This guy, is an arsehole.
They’ve started thinking that because they’re so heavily relied on, that they’re somehow able to go half-cocked into everything. That they’re untouchable.
So, the moral here; don’t let your staff have hopes. Or dreams.
You squash them.
You squash them good.
And finally,
Rule Five; 'Let me go check in the back' learn this phrase, and use it wisely
Let me go check in the back. Customer can't find that one thing they always get? Haven't heard of this thing? Yep. It probably doesn't exist. or the customers thinking of somewhere else. or something else. or all of those things. now lets say you've tried to explain this. I've already told you way back in rule one that that's a futile endeavor
.
'Let me go check in the back'
You aint going to check. You're going to go through those mystical doors, as if venturing into narnia. Maybe you'll check the computer, see if that turns up any answers, but why bother? You know what they're looking for isnt there! just chill out. give yourself a wee five minute break, and then step back out for round two. That customer wont know what hit em.
So there you have it,
Five ways to stay classy whilst working in retail
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